μου [pronounced Moo] meaning (of God) "My own".

The story of God's introduction...

Way back in November 2008 The Stanford-Le-Hope '24-7prayer' boiler room community hosted a UK network day for the 24-7 community. I went along to support and to see what happens and so did some strange (but lovely) women who were referred to as 'Wild Geese'.

May 2009 arrived and with it the return of 2 of the 3 'Geese' to Stanford for a retreat week in which they were to take time out from their normal activities and very intentionally spend time with God. These 2 Women were Catie Raikes (of Aberystwyth) and Mandy Williams (of Gateshead).

At this time I was unable to work due to a loose piece of bone floating around inside my knee, so I had become more involved in the day to day life of the community of boilerroomers shaped around 217 Southend road.

During their retreat I spent a few hours making friends with and getting to know the 'Geese' and as with most connections made by 24-7 related people it was obvious that these friendships were not just for the week but would become a bigger part of the networks we were creating of people around the world focused on kingdom building.

We continued to talk via the Internet and discuss plans, dreams, and the things that really excite us. I was planning a 10 week driving adventure to the Balkans and back, and they were coming to the end of the 'Wild Goose' year. I should point out at this time that Mandy and I had spent more time talking than Catie and I, probably because Catie likes to build deep friendships with everyone, but Mandy's preference is to grow deep friendships with people one by one.

So... I went off to Europe adventuring, and Mandy Williams finished her wild goose year, finished her job and sadly had to move out of her marital home in the lead up to a divorce. We continued to talk and pray for each other and plan a visit on my return to England (Mandy had suggested that her friend Ali Wah would be excellent wife potential, which I've since learned is a massive compliment due to the HUGE love Mandy has for Ali). I had been discussing 4 retreats in a year to various places with James the Gense Gensberg, and considering that Mandy had retreat experience and we didn't, we had asked her and Gareth to host us for our first time.

October 2009 James the Gense and I traveled to the wild Northeast to spend a week with Mandy and Catie (staying at Ellie Clarke's house) praying together, asking ourselves hard questions and digging deeper into some of God's plans. This was an amazing time in which God met us in some astonishing and ordinary ways, and we were able to find some of the roots of some issues in our lives. During part of this time, God hijacked the conversation and began to deal with some underlying and deep rooted things in Mandy's life and he chose to do so through me. After a couple of days of intense listening to God and firmly putting the focus continually on him the retreat was over and we travelled back to the sunny south kidnapping Mandy and bringing her with us because she could and it seemed like a good idea.

Since moving from her marital home Mandy had been on a long journey of releasing and letting go of a man she had loved but who didn't love her and of trusting God to be everything she needs.

Then over the next couple of months we spoke often and our thoughts began to shift... Initially we both backed away from the idea of attraction and possibility of 'relationship' but God continually brought it back and suggested that we should at least look at it. So just before Christmas Mandy again visited as part of a tour of friends around the UK and she tentatively broached the subject of feelings, potential and possibility. I'd decided that it was far too soon to open such a conversation so I allowed Mandy to spell out her thoughts before deciding to share my thoughts, which were quite vague and very non-committal.

I should say that I had not had any previous girlfriends and that my view of this type of relationship is that they should be focused on the question 'whether to marry or not?'. I wasn't prepared to commit anything until I was sure that I could actually live out the commitment.

So for the next few months we talked every day, prayed lots, spoke to friends about it, and allowed God to lead us on a journey neither of us could have planned. We visited, asked questions about each other, evaluated and re-evaluated and gradually our friendship with possibility had become something else...

Around the same time Mandy had chosen to change her surname, because to her it seemed right not to hold onto the name given by her ex husband so that if he re-married there wouldn't be 2 women with his name. She had been called Mandy Moo as a nick name for many years and some people had even assumed it was her surname so she decided to change to Mandy Moo officially by deed poll. Interestingly straight after the change, a good friend (Enola Stevenson) discovered the meaning of the biblically pronounced moo (see the blog title) this was taken to mean that Mandy no longer took her name from her Dad or her husband, but was complete and whole in God's family.

During this time God had spoken to Mandy about moving away from the north east and she explored the option of joining a community in Romford led by her good friends Phil and Emma Togwell. The outcome of this was that She could choose between staying in the north east, moving to Romford, or moving to Stanford. Again having prayed and talked to many good friends about these options she decided to move to Stanford and was welcomed by the community here, and given a space to live for the 1st few months with the community leaders Robb and Sally as the best place from which to really integrate with the community.

Then after several months of praying lots, talking lots, and including friends in the journey we decided it was time to go official, so facebook was told and with that we had to begin using the titles 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'. We'd decided way back near the beginning of our discussions not to kiss and not to say 'I love you' because those things are very powerful and need redeeming from the casual world of low commitment dating. Somewhere along the journey of discussing EVERYTHING we talked again about these things and eventually made the decision to express ourselves with these things. It was so powerful to say for the first time with absolute certainty in it's truth 'Mandy, I love you' and to hear her say something similar knowing that it was definitely true.

I think it was probably around this time that we began to discuss time frames and thoughts about marriage, because for us to commit to each other openly in this way meant that we were deliberately heading toward marriage.

The last few months have been spent enjoying each other's company, learning how to understand and communicate better, adjusting and balancing life with another person in such a prominent position, and on my part making a ring.

Amsterdam

So this is out of order and I should have written this before the last, but I've been working on it slowly and it's been tough.

The Dam, the actual Amsterdam, the famous tulip growing capital of the low land of windmills that is The Netherlands.

Friday night we turn up, having found a campsite on the web and not really sure what we were gonna do for the next few days except be in the Amster of Dam. Set up tent and got things a little bit sorted, then in to town to find dinner and check out the YWAM base cos it might be cheaper to stay there the next couple of nights.

That's when we realise that again we're just walking in the footsteps of the big guy going ahead, this isn't an unplanned quick visit to see what's happening, we have a purpose and a reason for being here. This weekend is Mission Amsterdam. a colaboration of christians from across Holland, Germany, America and England coming together to reach the lost of this city.

First night: We're holding a Dance party in a Massive old Church just inside the red light. gonna give out some invitations and try to chat with a few people.

Second night: up in North town, over the river, a party in the park with a stage out the back of a lorry from England, a Latvian funk group and still a bunch of crazy christians handing out invitations and desperately praying for doorways into people's lives.

Third night: Going west to the Islamic part of town, a similar style to the night before, this time on the square and with maybe a few more people.

boom. Amsterdam has been missionised for the next year. yea?

No. there's a prayer room in the red light and dedicated believers who reach out, there's local churches and mission focused communities in north town and out in the west a young guy supported by his tired church seeks to plant new church with life into islam centred community.

Well the first two nights I get involved and observe and chat to other people on the teams. Then Sunday night. the local set up team can't make it so I step back into action man sound guy mode. Setting up the stage, connecting wires, speakers, lights and just loving every bit of it, I hang around and talk to the sound guy about which model of desk he prefers and chat to the lighting guy about how he's set up the moving heads. Two hours later I'm sitting at the techy base running things cos the other two have gone for dinner, they get back and the lighting guy decides to take the night off, so I'm on. Out on the streets not speaking Dutch and not really knowing how to start a conversation with someone I probably have nothing in common with I feel lost. But in techy mode and back where I've been so many times, I'm at home and totally loving it.

So to sum up my time in the Amsterdam, I have to say that it is the most beautiful city I've been to. absolutely, no questions. but it's done something to me, I can't think of the city without tears welling in my eyes and incredible sadness flooding through me. We walked through the red light district a few times. We'd heard stories and knew a bit of what to expect but... nothing can prepare you and no explaination can give a true picture. Rows and rows of windows with only one thing for sale and then the broken shadows of men searching for a good time.

So we must pray.

Pray for the Broken lives going through that city.

Pray for the Lives of those in the City.

And Pray for the workers, those giving their lives to bring love and change to the most beautiful of cities.

Home

Well here we are.

Sailing in to Dover, seeing the white cliffs and knowing that English Soil will soon be back under foot is a lovely feeling. The last few days in Amsterdam, Utrecht and then to Dunkerque have been strange, a curious mix of excitment to go home, wanting to make the most of the last few days and then the inevitable questions about what to do when I get back.

And now, We've been back a few days. Having kept it on the down low that we were coming home early it's been nice to have some space to get stuff done, see a few friends and not be overwhelmed by having to tell and re tell the stories to masses of people. Yesterday was one of the best days I've had this summer and although I've had some amazing times and seen some amazing things, just hanging out, loafing around watching youtube videos, getting breakfast, playing poker, chatting and then curry was so nice with that particular bunch of people.

Although getting home and seeing folks is great I feel a bit distanced from things, there's so much that's happening without me and so many new things and people to hear about that I feel completely out of it. and really I don't feel like making the effort to catch up on what I've missed. maybe it's just cos I've got quite a lot of things to sort out and plan and maybe it's just part of getting home after a prolonged absence but I'd love to just keep the friends I had when I went, get back in to an easy routine and plod along for a bit.

Instead here I am trying to end a blog of endings, trying think and dream of new beginnings and not actually getting anywhere with any of the things I've got on my list of things to do.

Thoughts

Time for a bit of mixed muddledness.

Here we are sitting at another campsite, in Jeff cos it’s too windy on the bonnet, listening to a few tunes and I’m just pondering. We’ve just been to Denmark to a few days, I’ve ticked of my 19th country ever and it’s nearly time to go home.

What have I learnt? And have I actually learnt it? Have I made the most of this summer or have I just spent nearly £3000 on a good time? Of course I’ve also been thinking and talking about what happens next, what will I do when I get home and how will the rest of my life pan out?

Really, and I think Steve would agree. We’ve learnt about relationships, that to give time and energy to a person. To listen, to care for, to receive from and to share life is a majorly important way to change lives. We’ve learnt about giving the best (just this morning we read in proverbs about giving the first fruits). We’ve learnt so much and met so many people that to even begin to sum up seems impossible.

And then that ever recurring question... ‘What comes next?’
“you’re 22 you should get some direction, discipline and responsibility in your life”, “you’re young and can do whatever you put your mind to”, “God’s got great plans for you just keep following him” are just a few bits of advice I’ve been given. How do I live a radical God centred life living each day as it comes, being the chess piece I’ve been made to be, plan for the next few years, choose what I’d like to do etc....?

I just get lost with so much advise and choice. Yea I see the validity of most of the points people are making but... that doesn’t help with the day to day of what do I do?

So I’ve got a few ideas and I’ll keep praying, listening and trying to follow that still small voice, but If it doesn’t look like you think my life should go, then, hey, it’s my life and I pray most of all that If I’ve got it wrong God would be shouting super loud in my direction.

What is the Greatest Need?

Here we are in Herrnhut (a tiny village which could be called the birthplace of the modern missions movement), worshiping, praying, chatting and sharing stories with the locals and the permanent guests. We’ve seen so many different places and met so many people that to isolate one bit of learning and experience to one place isn’t possible. We’ve seen how simply being friends is more important than anything and that a place of community and shared life can only work if it then shares life with the community.

So, back in Herrnhut and on the continual journey of seeking God’s path and direction Steve and I go for a walk up the hill. We found a bench just outside God’s acre (the grave yard) and watched the end of the sunset while talking about what direction our lives are going and where God is calling us to work. We pondered some thoughts and quoted from Shane Claiborne’s ‘The Irresistible Revolution’, and remembered that he didn’t look around for where he might be most effective but saw a need and went to sort it out.

To use someone else’s words is often quite useful, so as I have the opportunity to use words re-used by someone else and then to re quote, it’s quite satisfying.
In the film ‘Coach Carter’ this is said: ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness which frightens us. Your playing small doesn't serve the world there is nothing enlightening about shrinking so other people don’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do it's not just in some of us it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.’’

So if this in mind we turned our thoughts to Corringham and Stanford and Steve asked ‘when you think of the needs of that area, what is the first that comes to your head?’ maybe it’s the kids hanging around town smoking and drinking, maybe it’s the old lady next door who needs some shopping, maybe it’s the drug dealer down the street, maybe it’s the man up the road needing help with his building project.

When you look at your town/neighbourhood what is the first need that comes into your head? Then ask yourself, what am I going to do about it?

No, you’re not gonna get an answer from me here. Tho I did give an answer and yes I’ve added it to the continual ponderings and influences in the melting pot of muddledness in my strange mind.

Mountains

Apparently there is no universally-accepted definition of mountain. Elevation, volume, relief, steepness, spacing and continuity have all been used as criteria for defining a mountain. In the Oxford English Dictionary a mountain is defined as "a natural elevation of the earth surface rising more or less abruptly from the surrounding level and attaining an altitude which, relatively to the adjacent elevation, is impressive or notable.

But all this debate about what is or isn't a mountain is silly, we've all heard the phrase to make a mountain out of a molehill. Well a molehill could actually fulfil the criteria specified above. However I think a mountain has something special, whatever its height.

So let’s move on to my experience with mountains.
Firstly, having been born and subsequently grown up in the beautiful South Hams of south Devon, I am very used to hilly terrain where each hill leads to a valley and on to the next hill, flat land is either found at the bottom of the valley, at the top of the hill or it must be dug.
I then spent a reasonable amount of time walking on Dartmoor during my secondary school years, which enlarged my appreciation for large lumpy bits of land much of which could possibly be called mountainous.
In 2003 at the ripe age of 16 I visited Iceland with a school trip where we spent most of the time in the mountains, mapping glaciers, playing on snow slopes and admiring the scenery.
I’ve since visited Scotland and walked among the peaks of the Grampian Mountains around Ben Nevis.
Much more recently I’ve seen the mountains of Kosovo, Albania, Macedonia, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia, Austria, and Switzerland.

I realise this is in danger of becoming a long post but please hang in there.

The rolling hills and shapely valleys of Devon will always have an appeal to me simply because it is the place of my childhood (it’s also incredibly beautiful) but it lacks grandeur.
The snow slopes and glacial U valleys shaping the mountains of Iceland have grandeur, but are let down by the bleak grey and white colouring. The lack of trees leave the landscape stark and though beautiful it lacks a comfortable feeling.
Scotland UK: The majesty of the tallest mountains in “the best country in the world” cannot be denied. They rise from the sea in one sweeping line displaying beauty from the forested base to the rocky summit. However, actually they’re not all that tall.
Kosovo and Albania I will group together: Yes the mountains are twice the size of Ben Nevis and yes they are intersected with blue rivers and stunning mountain roads, but there is still a bare, rugged, coarseness about the whole thing.
Macedonia: gets a mention because we climbed (walked) to the summit of one which noticeably features a rather large cross. These mountains had been dwarfed by roads making them effortless and accessible to all, their majesty had been robbed.
Montenegro and Croatia: Unfortunately these places are merging in my memory, the mountains we passed and which towered from the sea and lakes were tall, majestic and cosy yet still they lacked something.
Austria & Slovenia: I’ve already written about driving these roads. But the mountains in and of themselves were magnificent. The winding road and sweeping corners took nothing from the glory of these towering rocks. As we drove higher the pressure was such that a crisp packet on the back seat burst open of its own accord. These were mountains as mountains should be; Tall, dark and Handsome with a snowy covering to crown them with glory.
But.
Switzerland: Tonight we were driven up a mountain by our host to watch the sunset over the Alps and to admire the glory of the horizon filled with peaks, some stretching effortlessly to over 4000 meters above sea level. The sun sets, the moon rises, the stars come out and we descend through the trees to the lake where the last of the light dances across the water and highlights the peaks on the other side.
These mountains have the grandeur of the Icelandic Mountains, the beautiful lines and forested base of the Scottish might, the majesty of the Croatian skyline, the magnificence and glory of the Austrian Alpine wonders and yet had more. They combined all these wonderful qualities and wrapped them together; they delivered a stunning sunset and then removed great gasps of breath as the trees and lake cushion them in a soft bed.

To Conclude: I love mountains, the taller, grander, more majestic, glorious and magnificent the better, but for them to be surrounded in soft idyll where a city comfortably rests is better than the icing on any cake I’ve tasted.

Pawns, Knights, Rooks and the master player!

The festival is over, the last band has played (well actually the last guy was a beat boxer and he was pretty good!) and the big pack up begins. We swing into action and by 3.30 that morning the sound and light gear is packed, the fencing is down, the staging is stacked up and we turn in for a few hours sleep. Next morning, 8 o’clock we get up for breakfast and then back to the field to finish packing up. Super cool Thomas turns up in the afternoon having taken his son to play at another festival that morning and we re-load the truck!

We talk about plans for next year and how to improve things, pray for and with the guys and then hit the road.

The relentless travel of pilgrims in search of what God is doing across Europe through a few random people. We’d had a few days spare and not wanting to waste time sent out a net of emails asking for contacts in the area. We found a church hosting a week of 24-7 prayer and emailed them to see if they wanted help setting things up. We drove the hour or so down the road to meet these guys and to visit their youth meeting that night. This is gonna be their first week of prayer. One girl who has visited other prayer rooms has collected a couple of friends and inspired their youth group and church to pray. Wow. We rock up into town and having had a little bit of experience and seeming to be walking the talk get an eager audience wanting to hear stories, learn truths and gather thoughts on how a prayer room works, how to fill up the hour and generally what to expect.

The next morning having slept on the floor of one of the guys in the youth group we got back on the road. A brief stop and really only a passing though, but what an amazing opportunity this has been, to be ambassadors of prayer and to leave behind a trace of what we are doing. As we drove away from that place we continued expressing amazement, thanks and awe to a God who puts two crazy English guys, with a weird idea or two into a youth meeting to pray.

Then here we are, at another campsite. Putting up the tent, cooking dinner (this time we cooked from fresh!) sitting on the bonnet and writing a blog. 2moro we drive on to Thun, Switzerland to see the 24-7 community there!

As Steve has been blogging about: We are mere pieces in a giant chess game, Moving as the master moves us, Defending when we need to defend, Advancing when we are needed to advance and standing firm when that is what we must do. Sometimes the action is on the other side of the board but then something switches and we realise that we have been resting in the right place, waiting for the moment we are needed.