Amsterdam

So this is out of order and I should have written this before the last, but I've been working on it slowly and it's been tough.

The Dam, the actual Amsterdam, the famous tulip growing capital of the low land of windmills that is The Netherlands.

Friday night we turn up, having found a campsite on the web and not really sure what we were gonna do for the next few days except be in the Amster of Dam. Set up tent and got things a little bit sorted, then in to town to find dinner and check out the YWAM base cos it might be cheaper to stay there the next couple of nights.

That's when we realise that again we're just walking in the footsteps of the big guy going ahead, this isn't an unplanned quick visit to see what's happening, we have a purpose and a reason for being here. This weekend is Mission Amsterdam. a colaboration of christians from across Holland, Germany, America and England coming together to reach the lost of this city.

First night: We're holding a Dance party in a Massive old Church just inside the red light. gonna give out some invitations and try to chat with a few people.

Second night: up in North town, over the river, a party in the park with a stage out the back of a lorry from England, a Latvian funk group and still a bunch of crazy christians handing out invitations and desperately praying for doorways into people's lives.

Third night: Going west to the Islamic part of town, a similar style to the night before, this time on the square and with maybe a few more people.

boom. Amsterdam has been missionised for the next year. yea?

No. there's a prayer room in the red light and dedicated believers who reach out, there's local churches and mission focused communities in north town and out in the west a young guy supported by his tired church seeks to plant new church with life into islam centred community.

Well the first two nights I get involved and observe and chat to other people on the teams. Then Sunday night. the local set up team can't make it so I step back into action man sound guy mode. Setting up the stage, connecting wires, speakers, lights and just loving every bit of it, I hang around and talk to the sound guy about which model of desk he prefers and chat to the lighting guy about how he's set up the moving heads. Two hours later I'm sitting at the techy base running things cos the other two have gone for dinner, they get back and the lighting guy decides to take the night off, so I'm on. Out on the streets not speaking Dutch and not really knowing how to start a conversation with someone I probably have nothing in common with I feel lost. But in techy mode and back where I've been so many times, I'm at home and totally loving it.

So to sum up my time in the Amsterdam, I have to say that it is the most beautiful city I've been to. absolutely, no questions. but it's done something to me, I can't think of the city without tears welling in my eyes and incredible sadness flooding through me. We walked through the red light district a few times. We'd heard stories and knew a bit of what to expect but... nothing can prepare you and no explaination can give a true picture. Rows and rows of windows with only one thing for sale and then the broken shadows of men searching for a good time.

So we must pray.

Pray for the Broken lives going through that city.

Pray for the Lives of those in the City.

And Pray for the workers, those giving their lives to bring love and change to the most beautiful of cities.

Home

Well here we are.

Sailing in to Dover, seeing the white cliffs and knowing that English Soil will soon be back under foot is a lovely feeling. The last few days in Amsterdam, Utrecht and then to Dunkerque have been strange, a curious mix of excitment to go home, wanting to make the most of the last few days and then the inevitable questions about what to do when I get back.

And now, We've been back a few days. Having kept it on the down low that we were coming home early it's been nice to have some space to get stuff done, see a few friends and not be overwhelmed by having to tell and re tell the stories to masses of people. Yesterday was one of the best days I've had this summer and although I've had some amazing times and seen some amazing things, just hanging out, loafing around watching youtube videos, getting breakfast, playing poker, chatting and then curry was so nice with that particular bunch of people.

Although getting home and seeing folks is great I feel a bit distanced from things, there's so much that's happening without me and so many new things and people to hear about that I feel completely out of it. and really I don't feel like making the effort to catch up on what I've missed. maybe it's just cos I've got quite a lot of things to sort out and plan and maybe it's just part of getting home after a prolonged absence but I'd love to just keep the friends I had when I went, get back in to an easy routine and plod along for a bit.

Instead here I am trying to end a blog of endings, trying think and dream of new beginnings and not actually getting anywhere with any of the things I've got on my list of things to do.

Thoughts

Time for a bit of mixed muddledness.

Here we are sitting at another campsite, in Jeff cos it’s too windy on the bonnet, listening to a few tunes and I’m just pondering. We’ve just been to Denmark to a few days, I’ve ticked of my 19th country ever and it’s nearly time to go home.

What have I learnt? And have I actually learnt it? Have I made the most of this summer or have I just spent nearly £3000 on a good time? Of course I’ve also been thinking and talking about what happens next, what will I do when I get home and how will the rest of my life pan out?

Really, and I think Steve would agree. We’ve learnt about relationships, that to give time and energy to a person. To listen, to care for, to receive from and to share life is a majorly important way to change lives. We’ve learnt about giving the best (just this morning we read in proverbs about giving the first fruits). We’ve learnt so much and met so many people that to even begin to sum up seems impossible.

And then that ever recurring question... ‘What comes next?’
“you’re 22 you should get some direction, discipline and responsibility in your life”, “you’re young and can do whatever you put your mind to”, “God’s got great plans for you just keep following him” are just a few bits of advice I’ve been given. How do I live a radical God centred life living each day as it comes, being the chess piece I’ve been made to be, plan for the next few years, choose what I’d like to do etc....?

I just get lost with so much advise and choice. Yea I see the validity of most of the points people are making but... that doesn’t help with the day to day of what do I do?

So I’ve got a few ideas and I’ll keep praying, listening and trying to follow that still small voice, but If it doesn’t look like you think my life should go, then, hey, it’s my life and I pray most of all that If I’ve got it wrong God would be shouting super loud in my direction.

What is the Greatest Need?

Here we are in Herrnhut (a tiny village which could be called the birthplace of the modern missions movement), worshiping, praying, chatting and sharing stories with the locals and the permanent guests. We’ve seen so many different places and met so many people that to isolate one bit of learning and experience to one place isn’t possible. We’ve seen how simply being friends is more important than anything and that a place of community and shared life can only work if it then shares life with the community.

So, back in Herrnhut and on the continual journey of seeking God’s path and direction Steve and I go for a walk up the hill. We found a bench just outside God’s acre (the grave yard) and watched the end of the sunset while talking about what direction our lives are going and where God is calling us to work. We pondered some thoughts and quoted from Shane Claiborne’s ‘The Irresistible Revolution’, and remembered that he didn’t look around for where he might be most effective but saw a need and went to sort it out.

To use someone else’s words is often quite useful, so as I have the opportunity to use words re-used by someone else and then to re quote, it’s quite satisfying.
In the film ‘Coach Carter’ this is said: ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness which frightens us. Your playing small doesn't serve the world there is nothing enlightening about shrinking so other people don’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do it's not just in some of us it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.’’

So if this in mind we turned our thoughts to Corringham and Stanford and Steve asked ‘when you think of the needs of that area, what is the first that comes to your head?’ maybe it’s the kids hanging around town smoking and drinking, maybe it’s the old lady next door who needs some shopping, maybe it’s the drug dealer down the street, maybe it’s the man up the road needing help with his building project.

When you look at your town/neighbourhood what is the first need that comes into your head? Then ask yourself, what am I going to do about it?

No, you’re not gonna get an answer from me here. Tho I did give an answer and yes I’ve added it to the continual ponderings and influences in the melting pot of muddledness in my strange mind.